


Apple Tree

by Arista_Holmes



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: 2400 words of pure angst, Angst, F/M, pure angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:08:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23070685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arista_Holmes/pseuds/Arista_Holmes
Summary: The Dragon Age Server, Beyond The Veil, held a small challenge. Can you write an Angst Story about apples?Myself, and Salt_Rose took up the Challenge.Dedicated to Noire-Pandora on Tumblr x
Relationships: Female Lavellan/Solas
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	Apple Tree

Her laughter was soft as it drifted across the sun-warmed fields, on a refreshing spring breeze. A rare day of peace for the Inquisitor, where all her jobs were dependent on someone else completing theirs, and so Solas had requested her free afternoon and she had happily agreed.

When he had led her out of Skyhold, to the centre of a small copse of trees that were somehow surviving the harsh mountain climate, Kita was surprised, but when he cleared the ground of snow with a whispered spell, and a single large apple tree burst into soft pink spring blossom beneath his touch, she was enchanted.

Sitting beneath that ancient apple tree they spent the afternoon talking between mouthfuls of sandwiches from Skyhold's kitchens, and a collection of frilly Orlesian cakes Kita had ordered the last time she had been in Val Royeaux. Debating magical techniques with softly falling blossom drifting in the air around them, Solas eventually ended up with his back against the tree, legs stretched out before him, and Kita shifted to lay with her head in his lap, staring up at him with crystalline eyes.

His story paused as he watched her in surprise, but the Inquisitor just grinned and waved a hand for him to continue, pleading with him to "not stop there," and with a tender softening around his thunderstorm grey eyes, her apostate fade expert continued speaking.

Voice soft, and cadence soothing, it was only the slowly approaching shadows and chill of the night that forced the pair to abandon their miniature sanctuary, but the tree remained in blossom, and the small copse of trees remained precious to Kita.

Months passed, the war against Corypheus proceeded, and the blossoms turned to small fruit, grew and ripened. A glut of apple-based foods stocked Skyhold's kitchen throughout the autumn, and then Solas took her to Crestwood and her world shattered. Kita didn't cry that night or the next. The first time the tears came, was when she went back out to that small and precious copse of trees, to see the leaves and blossoms gone, stolen by the winter and leaving the tree bare and barren. It felt like one of those sharp branches had pierced her heart, and she collapsed against its gnarled roots and sobbed.

It hurt all over again when Solas left without so much as a goodbye, but oddly Kita understood that. Whatever his reasons for ending their fledgeling relationship, it wasn't for lack of love. That much she knew. It didn't stop the pain, in some ways it made it worse, but the knowledge often sent her out to that copse of trees, to settle against the roots of the apple tree, and draw comfort from the memories of their shared afternoon.

One year passed with no word on the elf who held her heart, and then a second that included building tensions between the Inquisition and the countries Skyhold sat on the borders of. Still, no word of Solas reached them, but the harvest from the apple tree had become a Skyhold tradition, a feast of apple-themed foods being presented from the first harvest each year.

It was a bittersweet pleasure to see her friends and her sister, laughing and enjoying the banquet, while she remembered how the ancient tree had come to bear fruit once more.

Then, she had found him again. In Orlais, or through an Eluvian, and her every perception of the world she knew shifted. The Creators were real, only they weren't gods, just mages. Fen'harel was real, only he wasn't the villain of her childhood stories, but a rebel running and uprising against slave masters.

Above all, he was Solas, her love and her heart, and Kita wanted to throw herself into his arms, but he held himself apart from her, despite the mirror of her own love swimming in his eyes and her pleading.

_ "Let me help you, Solas." _

_ "I cannot do that to you, vhenan." _

_ "But you would do it to yourself? I cannot  _ **_bear_ ** _ to think of you alone!" _

_ "I walk the Dinan'shiral. There is only death on this journey, I would not have you see what I become..." _

A final kiss between them seared itself upon Kita's very being, and then Solas had walked away, her shattered heart still in his hands, but this time her soul was screaming in pain too, that he believed their love not enough to counter whatever he might do... Kita could not imagine a force stronger than what she felt for the elf disappearing through the Eluvian before her.

Time passed again, but it moved swiftly this time because Kita had a target. She would prove to Solas that they worked better together, that they solved problems better together, and that there was a better way to accomplish whatever it was he was trying to do.

Her first task had been disbanding the Inquisition because he had been right. It had grown too large to manage every aspect herself, and that opened it up to corruption. That left just herself, her friends and Nel at Skyhold, and a small retinue of staff supplied by Varric from Kirkwall.

They made plans, but just as before no one could find Solas. Not even Leliana with the full force of the Chantry behind her, and a spy network that would have made every country in Thedas nervous if they had been aware of it. Summer turned to Autumn, and the apple tree produced it's harvest once again.

Her friends had promised to help, if she could find Solas, but had mostly returned to their own lives by now, and yet they still came back to Skyhold every year for the Apple Banquet. The banquet was reduced to a large meal between friends this year, but that meant more apples could go into storage and Kita was looking forward to spending the evening with the likes of Dorian, who was often miles away in Tevinter, and the Iron Bull who took jobs all across Thedas with his chargers.

It was only because she was finishing up her notes about the latest lead on Solas that she was late to dinner that night. It was a tiny scrap of parchment appearing on her desk in a flash of magical veilfire that had her blood running cold. It was the words written in a heart-wrenchingly familiar script that had her running from her office to the main hall, but Kita had been too late.

_ "Don't eat the apples." _

><><><><><><><><><><

It was cold. Kita could feel the biting mountain wind cutting through her leathers, but she didn't care. Tears were drying on her face as fast as they were falling, but she didn't much care about that either as she stood in the snow and stared up at the withered apple tree.

Poison. 

Skyhold was impenetrable, so the culprit had infected the apple tree itself. The fruit were deadly, she discovered, finding her every friend collapsed around the great hall, blood pouring from their eyes, and foam filling their throats as their lungs liquified. Her sister had died in her arms, as Kita emptied her stores of mana in a desperate attempt to save the blonde, sobbing over Nel's cold still body for hours before she'd dragged herself to her feet and fled.

She'd not come to the apple tree looking for answers, but for comfort. To find it withered and dead, the remaining fruit still hanging from the branches, twisted and rotten had made her ill, and the small patch of frozen bile splashed against the snow evidenced her heartbroken grief.

She felt him fade step into the physical world behind her but didn't move. Arms still curled around her stomach and eyes fixed on the shrivelled tree as her mind struggled to comprehend the events of the last hour.

"Vhenan-"

She felt the warmth of his hands reaching for her, the relief in his voice, both of which forced a flinch from her frame, that stilled his motions and voice.

"Did... did you..." she struggled, voice hoarse from screaming her grief to the heavens, but Solas understood the half-formed question and answered anyway.

"No, no vhenan. I would not do this, I would not sanction this," the pain in his voice was clear now that his relief at seeing her alive was beginning to fade, and Kita could feel herself shaking, but whether from shock of the cold she truly couldn't tell.

"Then... who... why...?"

There was a beat of silence, and she could almost hear his reluctance to answer over the whistle of the wind as it moved her long hair around her face, sticking strands to her damp cheeks but after a moment, he spoke again.

"One of my agents. Of their own accord. I'm so sorry vhenan, they'll be punished for this, I swear-"

"Why bother?" Kita spat, voice quiet but slowly filling with anger.

"What?"

"I said why bother?" she repeated, finally turning slowly to face him. He looked exactly the same as he had before, the same armor he'd been wearing when he walked away from her and her hands curled into fists, still pressed against her ribs as she struggled to hold herself together.

"It won't bring them back! It won't give me another hour of Dorian's jokes, or one of Sera's pranks, or Varric's next book, or Nel..." a sob broke her voice, and her features crumbled. Head and shoulders bowing beneath the weight of the pain and she began to fall, to collapse to the ground and give in but Solas' arms kept her up, supported her as she surrendered and sobbed loudly.

"It won't give me back my sister!" she gasped between agony filled cries. 

Hands clung, clawlike, against the fur on his armor, and Solas' gentle fingers stroking through her hair felt like shards of glass against her heart. Ravaged and raw and so broken she didn't know which way to turn, Kita crumbled and trusted him, one more time, to help her. Eventually, she realised that the dampness against her hair was evidence of Solas' own tears, and she remembered they had been his friends too. It made her cry even harder, for his loss and hers but eventually the tears slowed, and the sobs eased, her body unable to physically portray the full depth of the agony she was feeling.

He kept his arms around her though, and his fingers continued to move soothingly through her hair in silent support, and apology, and shared sadness.

A wave of exhaustion passed over her then, but she knew if she slept she would never lay eyes on Solas again. He would leave while she was lost in the fade and without her friends, her family, or Leliana's connections, Kita had less chance of finding him than ever before.

"Take me with you," she whispered against the fur at his shoulder, closing her eyes tight when she felt him pause and tense.

"Vhenan..."

"Please..." Kita begged, voice quiet and weak, something she had rarely been in her life, but right now she felt utterly powerless and totally adrift, "please Solas, take me with you."

"I told you. I can't."

Her breath caught in her throat at the repeated rejection, and Kita jerked back from his hold to meet his eyes. His own face was stained with the silent tears he had shed in their shared grief, but he let her take a step back, his own shoulders lowering slightly.

It had been three years now, but she could still read him like it was yesterday they'd been laying beneath the apple tree behind her, and she could see the regret and sadness in his stance, and the slowly building conviction in his expression. If she had any hope at all she knew she had to convince him now, before he set his mind against her.

"Don't you understand?" Kita snapped, eyes narrowing and breath beginning to escape her in harsh angry gasped, "Don't you get it? Solas you're the only thing I have left in all of Thedas!"

The elf before her had been about to speak, she could tell from the way his lips had parted, and his eyebrows had lowered but her words stole his, and he blinked at her in silent shock so she pressed the momentary advantage.

"Your agent killed everyone. My clan is gone, my friends are gone, Nel... Nel is... my sister is... gone... I have no one, Solas, and nothing left. There is no one alive in all Thedas who knows my  **_name_ ** , except you!"

Slowly, he pressed his lips together again and frowned. Hands shifted to the small of his back, and she could almost watch him considering the options.

"If you leave now, if you... if you reject  **_us_ ** again... this time I have nothing left. I have nothing to go back to... Solas... Solas please, I am begging you, don't leave me alone..." Kita finished on a whisper, her voice losing power and conviction the longer she spoke and he said nothing.

She was shaking again she realised as she watching him, but this time from fear. Fear he would turn and leave, and a small whimper escaped her when he shook his head.

"You don't understand, Kita... I  _ can't _ -"

"Can't what? Why not?"

"It's better for you if-"

"Is this better!?" she yelled, hands sparking with lightning in her fury as her magic escaped her control, and Solas flinched, pain flickering across his features as he denied her once again.

"I am truly sorry, vhenan..." he whispered, and Kita let her eyes slide closed as the ice-cold of the mountains finally touched her soul.

His lips against hers were soft, and warm, and the velvet slide of his hand along her jaw was soothing in its tenderness, but not even his touch roused her heart this time, because the kiss was filled with 'goodbye' and 'farewell' and 'so long my love'.

"Ar lath ma vhenan," he whispered against her lips, but it was only when she felt him fade step away that Kita moved, shattering into pieces against the snow like a statue of ice hit with an axe.

The keening cry of her agony echoed back from the mountains, reverberating through her mind for eons as her whole world collapsed, and she curled up in the snow and prayed to Fen'harel for oblivion.

  
  



End file.
